Clancy — 019 01MOON 22

Last updated: October 02, 2025

Sender: Clancy
MOON date on page: 019 01MOON 22
Source: dmaorg mirror / AltPress & community transcription (public archive).

Transcription

I can’t face this page for long enough to write what I’m truly feeling. I am only wrought with more questions: Questions about what I assumed to be true, questions about what my own path is, and the question that has plagued me every night that I lie here, back in city: Did I give up?

The force I saw between him and his bishop seemed tense to me, and frightening. But the memory of that exchange has had time to fester and replay in my mind long enough that I’m questioning if I even remembered it correctly. I assumed the bishop was forcefully retrieving his subject, but I now wonder if the bishop was actually trying to save him, and he refused.

I stayed out there for five days after I watched it happened. I haven’t seen him since. Maybe he got away, and was still out in Trench with me. Maybe the bishop chased him down, and brought him home.

Home?

Did I just call this place ‘home?’

After all of the endless beauty that I saw out there, am I now convincing myself that I’m actually better off within these confines?

I admit, it was more difficult than I expected. Nothing could have prepared me for how much the ‘unknown’ can consume me. Vast landscapes and endless possibilities, yet coupled with endless danger. I became anxious. I became tired. I became hungry. Every step I took became harder than the last, jumping from jagged rocky step to step, or pulling myself through thick forest — it all became debilitating, and I was sure that I couldn’t go on.

Keons approached as the sun rose one morning. I wasn’t scared. I was relieved. After all that he had taught me, his presence was the most comforting moment that I had in days, and I couldn’t help but be happy to see him. In true Keons fashion, he wrapped his arms around me, then put his hands under my face, looked me in the eyes, and said “Clancy, child, let’s go home.”

— Clancy

Context

This letter (posted January 22, 2019 on dmaorg mirrors) was widely circulated and transcribed by press and community sources when it appeared. It documents Clancy’s internal conflict after time in Trench, his disorientation with the “unknown,” and his eventual encounter with Keons that brought him back to Dema — a moment which complicated his feelings about escape and safety.

Related: Keons, Trench, Dmaorg.info